libido

[vaa]

"you know what
we cant have
a relationship
because your dick
is too small"

thats strange
from 2 women
days apart
id known them
since a decade back
we had never had sex
we had seen
eachother naked
but nothing more
they wanted me to
take the next step
which i didnt do
since im 53% female
they thought i
was an alpha male
never felt like one
no muscles and
a big stomache
so what that
quote did tell me
since before id taken
cocaine on my
40:th birthday
i was evidently
a god of sexuality
how many had
fantasized about
me i dont know
now im only attracted
to japanese women
figure that one out...
and i dont feel like
looking at porn anymore
if you dont jack off
2 times per week
its higher chance to
get prostate cancer
well, ill get that then
im tired of being
controlled by my emotions
im less chaotic now
i dont go on delete
sprees of my own art
i dont throw things away
i dont get randomly
angry at people
i dont flood social media
the cocaine did me good
the psychiatric
staff respect me
since they take
every drug under the sun
before i started with drugs
and then i even
mean coffee and tea
it was hell in closed
psychiatric care
now its a cakewalk
i never got anything
out of women thinking of me
though, for awhile at the job
at lunch time
there was a table for 8
just me, and 7 women who adored me
but ive only slept with 4 women
its good enough for me
im a nun/monk now
its ok how it is
i wouldnt ask for more
i wish you joy love
luck and abundance
its where im headed
i hope to
meet you
there
some day