(no subject)

we have arranged for ourselves

a world in which we are able to live

by positing bodies lines planes

causes and effects

motion and rest

form and content

without these articles of faith

no one could endure living

but that does not

prove them true

life is not an argument

the conditions of life

might include error

some thoughts of the morning :) <3

yes, my mom was really shy for 40 years. she barely spoke at all, and got bullied when she did, especially by my dad. now she talks a lot, and im beyond my deep dark teenage years. im 40. i like taking it easy though just like carol. having a not so amazing job that you go to every day is the most needed. ive been on a dancefloor once, ive been drunk like 3 times. it was an experience, but just like coming home and sitting at my laptop and doing art, music and poetry that no one really appretiates. i have some vids on this account, average views: 0.5.

im not really autistic, and not really aspberger either. more like a high functioning aspberger. but i can relate to those people, havent met many though. i have inverse depression, that is, im unable to cry, so i play the clown all the time. thats why i prefer the internet, because im more intellectual here. so i write a lot, and get some replies, and sometimes a conversation starts. i have 900 "friends" on facebook, and they barely say or put a like on anything i do. ive got 4 blogs too. my mom has made almost 1000 freeweaves over 15 years, shes amazing. me, ive made so much creative expressions i dont know how to explain it. but i feel ok with my laptop and some tasty food, and going to work and making someone laugh, maybe getting a hug or two. sex isnt amazing for me, ive slept with 4 women and i could just as well had them as friends instead, so it would have lasted. some women have even proposed to me.

"Man has the illusion that he's in control of his only destiny." well, its easier to go with the flow of time and events. like... once, i was in the fifth dimension. i decided i wanted some new shoes. so i went to the shoe-store in the big city. just as i arrived, thats when they opened... synchrinicity. same when a not very close friend wanted to see me. he walked to tumba, where i lived, and just as i walked down to the buses he arrived, and just as we walked to the bus we were gonna go on, it arrived. thats "going with the flow". in the fifth dimension, that happens all the time. then you are truly "in control", and it just flows...

hi, im neither autistic nor aspberger. more like high-functioning aspie. anyway, im great at impressing women, but then i just fuck up and say something stupid. or when they want to be kissed or made love to, i just freak out and leave. i suppose its related to how society and my family treated me. you dont need to be born with aspbergers, it can be developed. me, i prefer having some good food (i love oranges! :) and just sitting at my laptop and reading things, and commenting. its enough to make me feel whole. sometimes someone responds back, and i feel wonderful :) not much is needed to make me happy, im all well enough alone, i write my poems and make art and do music, theyre almost never seen or commented on or "liked", but i dont mind. i do it for myself :) i did finally meet a woman who appretiated all about me, but it only lasted 1½ year, now i have tattoos about her all over my body, even a marriage tattoo, but it didnt last... now im by myself again, now im myself again. i used to have crazy OCD, but she took dip so i also started with it. dip just makes me calm...

well, i was with my mom at a cafe at the capitol. two people were talking profousely, but it didnt seem like they were talking to eachother. i looked their way, and they both had their phones and were talking to someone else. thats just sad. we must be the loneliest generation ever. myself i dont have a smartphone not even an old phone, and i feel so much better without it. all that radiation, i cant stand it.

i make poetry and art books. just print them in a few copies. not many have seen them, but get impressed when they do. i like the easy life. dont drink, dont smoke. my world is really boring but im not bored. i like it this way :) i have fulfilled my dreams many times over. working on a new book with my mom once again.

I suppose that's a worldwide phenomenon, we're not in a post wars optimistic, rebuilding and economically developing mindset. We live in a tired yet fast moving system with rising prices and unemployment, the stable job itself has lost its prestige, now it's a synonym of being trapped and imprisoned, having one modest job income isn't enough anymore to sustain a family, social media is turning us into products to be rated on a market. We're bombarded with informations all the time with footage and commentaries, notifications and pop-ups, social tensions are rising, conflicts, might be the prémices of a new world war, a few other wars, some civil wars. Trust in politics and journalism is collapsing. Environmental issues are depressing. It is a bit much to take for anyone. No wonder mental health issues are skyrocketing, solitude and isolation are also a growing plague of this world, maybe the end of the world scenario is somewhat synonymous with a new beginning, the breaking point of this era, or at least an end to a world where more and more people just don't find a place nor meaningful human connex

ions,values, communities nor activities giving a meaning to their lives.

JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER - MASONIC CREED

“We will keep their lives short and their minds weak while pretending to do the opposite. We will use our knowledge of science and technology in subtle ways so that they never see what is happening. We will use soft metals, aging accelerators and sedatives in food and water as well as in the air. They will be covered in poisons wherever they turn.

The soft metals will make them lose their minds. We will promise to find a cure from our many funds, and yet we will give them more poison. Chemical poisons will be absorbed through the skin of idiots who believe that certain hygiene and beauty products presented by great actors and musicians, will bring eternal youth to their faces and bodies, and through their thirsty and hungry mouths, we will destroy their minds and systems of internal organs. reproduction. However, their children will be born as disabled and deformed and we will hide this information.

The poisons will be hidden in everything around them, in what they drink, eat, breathe and wear. We have to be ingenious in distributing the poisons because they can see far. We'll teach them that poisons are good - with funny pictures and musical tones on TV. Those who are looking for them will be helpful. We'll enroll them to push our poisons.
They will see that our products are used in film and they will get used to them and will never know their true effect. When they give birth, we will inject poisons into the blood of their children and convince them that we are helping them! We will start earlier, when their minds are young, we will target their children with what children love most, sweet things.

When their teeth decay, we will fill them with metals that will kill their minds and steal their future. When their ability to learn has been affected, we have created drugs that will make them sicker and cause them other illnesses, for which we will create even more drugs. We will make them docile and weak before us, by our power. They will grow depressed, slow and obese, and when they come to us for help, we will give them more poison.

We will focus our attention on money and material goods so that they never connect with their inner self. We will distract them with fornication, external pleasures and video games, so that they are never one with the unity of all. Their minds will belong to us, and they will do as we say. If they refuse, we will find ways to implement technology that alters the mind in their lives.

We will use fear as our weapon. We will establish their governments and we will establish opposition within them. We will own both sides. We will always hide our goal, but we will continue our plan. They will do the work for us, and we will prosper from their toil.

Our families will never mix with theirs. Our blood must be pure (because it is). We will make them kill each other when they oppose us.

We will keep them separate from unity through dogma and religion. We will control all aspects of their lives and tell them what to think and how. We will guide them kindly and let them believe that they are guiding themselves.

We will instigate animosity among them through our factions. When a light shines among them, we will extinguish it by mockery or death, which suits us best. We will make them tear their hearts apart and kill their own children. We will accomplish this using hatred as our ally, anger as our friend. Hatred will completely blind them and they will never see that in their conflicts we will be their leaders.
They will be busy killing each other. They will bathe in their own blood and kill their neighbors, as long as we see that they are against us.

We will benefit greatly from this, for they will not see us, for they cannot see us. We will continue to prosper from their wars and their deaths. We will repeat this until our ultimate goal is achieved. We will continue to make them live in fear and anger, we will give them images and sounds. We will use all the tools we have to achieve this. The tools will be provided by their work. We will make them hate themselves and their neighbors.

We will always hide the divine truth from them, that we are all one. That he must never know! They must never know that color is an illusion, they must always believe that they are not equal. Drop by drop, drop by drop we will advance our goal. We will take over their lands, resources and wealth to exercise control over them. We will trick them into accepting laws that will steal the little freedom they have. We will set up a money system that will shut them down forever, keeping them and their children in debt.

When we ban them together, we will accuse them of murder and present a different story to the world because we will own all the media. We will use the media to control the flow of information and their feelings in our favor. When they rise up against us, we will crush them like insects, because they are less than that. They will be helpless to do anything about it.”

(no subject)

its called
falling into love
not rising into love
because there is
something
about the fall
letting yourself go
and to see
what happens