(no subject)

[vaa]

its a beautiful sunset. blood orange and butter. met that wonderful lady again. she gave me cig and coffee and dip. and divined me. except i get anxiety from her. she wanted me to buy her a new smartphone. but i dont see the point. i might. but i wont ask anything of her. miss neighbor doesnt give me anxiety so thats just amazing <3 so shes like bella. and she swears like julia. so thats wonderful! ^__^ but i know she just wants to steal my cigs, so, hey, cant get too close :( i also got a big long hug from her. but as she gives me despair it doesnt really matter. since i started with drugs, and that time i took coke really, i dont wish for anything anymore. im dead inside. or its just because im borderline now. anxiety is just anxiety, but when im tired (soon after waking up) i just think its all shit. worse than ever before. dont take coke, kids, ok? its atrociuos. i dont care if my writing turned better or that i got to know sofia. if you lose your soul, whats the point? kids, dont take drugs. rhiannon, kirin, but youve probably tried it all already havent you? ("yes daddy"). awesome =( hey was a nice experience. didnt write a poem about her. the best poems i wrote before i met bella. in the beginning of miss radio show. really. id lie in bed and contoct poems. like... just... it was amazing. ida made a song about that. its under idamo on soundcloud. its called "daydream". she made an ep about me when i visited her in her hometown maybe sort of awesome anyway! ^___^ ate 2 boiled eggs. i just bring the water up to boiling point and have the eggs already in when its cold and just turn it off then and let it simmer in warm water they get beyond boiled then its nice to take care of the earth dont waste water or heat but OMG ITS SO FUCKING COLD AAAAH what are those weird things they call "seasons" anyway we had 3 weeks autumn AND THAT WAS IT. before it was a steady 8 degrees and we had 1 week of real summer 1 day before midsummer we celebrate midsommer a lot ie drink lots of booze alcohol only fucks you up i see no positive things about it everyones so fucking sad because beer has eaten their souls ive lived through the pain and im happy for that <3 oh i wrote a lot now i didnt notice. i get flow easily when talking and writing and photoshopping and abletoning :)