if numbers make you happy youll never be happy because numbers never end

= drug facts =

its not just up and down drugs. its more complicated than that.

heroin - makes people love you. you exude calm all around. so its the real "hug drug". and heres the problem though, since it calms so many parts of the body, you dont tired when you take it. so you can be up indefinately and then your skin is eventually transparent white and you die from a fly or bee touches you. thats the real "aids". anyway, i solve this by working out. which i do anyway. otherwise its the zombie mode ive talked about for years just in another way. youre tired but not really. just a nothingness.

amphetamine / metaamphetamine. makes me aggressive, horny (the meta part), and makes me talk like 2x faster. not very useful for my sorta mind and body.

cocaine - only tried this for a few secs with bella, since i fell asleep almost directly afterwards. no, i dont think it makes you "awake". thats a lie. it increases your emotions inwards and decreases your emotions outwards. so anyone whos "cool" around you probably just snorts coke. its so easy to change your mind with drugs. anyway, when i tried this, i had like 6 emotions at the same time. calm, full of energy. tired, wanna change the world. sad, happy. that sorta thing. was a long time ago.

the saddest thing about coke is it makes anything seem wonderful. why people get addicted to anal sex and eating shit. the process of having shit in your mouth turns it into the most beautiful rainbow emotion on earth. no thanks. why i quit dip, i got to those levels with it eventually.

= before =

2024-11-20 [[Confessional]]

real

[[saffron]] once, then dip and basically no effect since.

started feeling the smell of saffron with high concentrations of sweat / grime / mixed metals.

[[öl]] 20 total if even that

supposed

lsd

speed + bathsalts

speed comedown

weed

glue sniffer

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https://svenskadikter.com/What_drugs_do_to_me_and_what_drugs_people_think_I_take