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vaahi tracey... i wrote this a year ago. you might be able to relate. not posting on your site because that would be weird, and i know i have at least 1 other person who reads. so here goes... google translate. i might translate it properly later. but i wanted to post this...
RAPE
let's go straight to the source. yes, don't shy away from it.
as I said, the family wouldn't understand, and neither would the wife.
yes. in all cases. scenario: I am 7 years old. my neighbor is calling. and asks: do you want to swim? I said yes, as I always told him, never said no once in my entire life. but haven't met him since I started 7th grade at school.¨
in all cases. we undress naked, in the bathroom which is on the lower floor. with the door closed (locked? who knows..). walk in the bathtub on each side.
after a while something strange happens. my neighbor is looking down (I just realized this) and at me, and yes, it's weird. then I screw myself up. so we get out of the tub.
then what it settled. never again happens. except it did.
sometimes, when my neighbor and I were alone, I would shit myself. like when we were on a whole island, with his family. then in the middle of nowhere, I screw myself up.
I always thought it was because I was nervous about starting first grade at school. but. nah.
my neighbor raped me. repeatedly. telekinetic. in other words. like telepathically. although you have to be close. but it was still like a succubus, like an incubus.
the world is very fucked up. in many ways.
my mother later said that I was his last choice. his whore, simply. he had several dozen friends. to whom he called. to play. he always called me last. although I lived right opposite. Wasn't it just to say hello? not so simple. nope.
my neighbor was a piece of shit. that was cool. it has taken me a very long time to realize this. jerk off in front of a 7 year old? fuck into the shithole of hell's bastards' demons! and instead, as I did for my other blogger friend, to try to protect her, make her life better.
so my neighbor wanted to drag me into the shit too. he also said once, don't know how old I was then "if you start crying again you can go home". and at home I didn't want to be bored, so I stopped crying. for THIRTY YEARS!!!!! I still have a very hard time with it. if I abuse a lot of things it becomes easier. but never without.
one more thing is, it took me 10 years to become like my father. yes, a girl pawed her ass. her brother happened to be in my class. he punched me right in the face. my dad liked to paw my ass. he made it to the end. to teach me a lesson. parents: don't be smart with your kids. but he came from the south. knife south. there it is either fuck or kill. pussy on the dick, or knife in the stomach, nothing else.
so i understand. I mean. he pawed at me when I came home from Kristianstad, even though I was 30 at the time. not at the dinner table. but he has done as my mother saw, she did nothing, although I scolded him. never talked about it. never anything. so to this day. i am 38 now.
I've had trouble sleeping since the first time he pawed me. it became more and more difficult. I have always slept with the light on, sometimes as bright as I wanted. the worst part was that when i lay down to sleep, he came in and pawed. to destroy my dreams. because I "ruined" his dreams, of being able to fuck my mother without problems for all these years. but she has said he was bad in bed, so that was more his problem than mine. but but, he ruined my life, and it's still ruined.
one time only. ever. I had catatonic death despair with aggro and suicide. my parents had a barbecue. so i go out. eats in seconds. I say, however much I can take it, I who can't take it ever then, because this has happened hundreds of times by now: "sorry I eat so fast". my father replies, "you eat like an animal!". I answer calmly and calmly: "you can drink a lot of alcohol". he had been drinking yesterday. and he drank that day. even more.
I also know that he pawed at me after I fell asleep, when he was reading bedtime stories. probably a dozen times. if not hundreds. have almost no memory of that time. but I had many magazines.
when that athlete came out that he was raped by his coach, dad said "he's making it up :D". yes, if he had read that book, maybe he would have become a better person. but that's not what alcoholics want. they want to have fun 24/7. no alcoholic has a problem. they are the problem. they live in their total lala world. all their land conquests are a FUCKING joke. they are alcoholics. nothing else. ever. and they will burn 4 billion years in hell. taste it you guys!
wow, this brought back old memories. has only been awake for half an hour, but has catatonia. going to bed again.
RAPE
let's go straight to the source. yes, don't shy away from it.
as I said, the family wouldn't understand, and neither would the wife.
yes. in all cases. scenario: I am 7 years old. my neighbor is calling. and asks: do you want to swim? I said yes, as I always told him, never said no once in my entire life. but haven't met him since I started 7th grade at school.¨
in all cases. we undress naked, in the bathroom which is on the lower floor. with the door closed (locked? who knows..). walk in the bathtub on each side.
after a while something strange happens. my neighbor is looking down (I just realized this) and at me, and yes, it's weird. then I screw myself up. so we get out of the tub.
then what it settled. never again happens. except it did.
sometimes, when my neighbor and I were alone, I would shit myself. like when we were on a whole island, with his family. then in the middle of nowhere, I screw myself up.
I always thought it was because I was nervous about starting first grade at school. but. nah.
my neighbor raped me. repeatedly. telekinetic. in other words. like telepathically. although you have to be close. but it was still like a succubus, like an incubus.
the world is very fucked up. in many ways.
my mother later said that I was his last choice. his whore, simply. he had several dozen friends. to whom he called. to play. he always called me last. although I lived right opposite. Wasn't it just to say hello? not so simple. nope.
my neighbor was a piece of shit. that was cool. it has taken me a very long time to realize this. jerk off in front of a 7 year old? fuck into the shithole of hell's bastards' demons! and instead, as I did for my other blogger friend, to try to protect her, make her life better.
so my neighbor wanted to drag me into the shit too. he also said once, don't know how old I was then "if you start crying again you can go home". and at home I didn't want to be bored, so I stopped crying. for THIRTY YEARS!!!!! I still have a very hard time with it. if I abuse a lot of things it becomes easier. but never without.
one more thing is, it took me 10 years to become like my father. yes, a girl pawed her ass. her brother happened to be in my class. he punched me right in the face. my dad liked to paw my ass. he made it to the end. to teach me a lesson. parents: don't be smart with your kids. but he came from the south. knife south. there it is either fuck or kill. pussy on the dick, or knife in the stomach, nothing else.
so i understand. I mean. he pawed at me when I came home from Kristianstad, even though I was 30 at the time. not at the dinner table. but he has done as my mother saw, she did nothing, although I scolded him. never talked about it. never anything. so to this day. i am 38 now.
I've had trouble sleeping since the first time he pawed me. it became more and more difficult. I have always slept with the light on, sometimes as bright as I wanted. the worst part was that when i lay down to sleep, he came in and pawed. to destroy my dreams. because I "ruined" his dreams, of being able to fuck my mother without problems for all these years. but she has said he was bad in bed, so that was more his problem than mine. but but, he ruined my life, and it's still ruined.
one time only. ever. I had catatonic death despair with aggro and suicide. my parents had a barbecue. so i go out. eats in seconds. I say, however much I can take it, I who can't take it ever then, because this has happened hundreds of times by now: "sorry I eat so fast". my father replies, "you eat like an animal!". I answer calmly and calmly: "you can drink a lot of alcohol". he had been drinking yesterday. and he drank that day. even more.
I also know that he pawed at me after I fell asleep, when he was reading bedtime stories. probably a dozen times. if not hundreds. have almost no memory of that time. but I had many magazines.
when that athlete came out that he was raped by his coach, dad said "he's making it up :D". yes, if he had read that book, maybe he would have become a better person. but that's not what alcoholics want. they want to have fun 24/7. no alcoholic has a problem. they are the problem. they live in their total lala world. all their land conquests are a FUCKING joke. they are alcoholics. nothing else. ever. and they will burn 4 billion years in hell. taste it you guys!
wow, this brought back old memories. has only been awake for half an hour, but has catatonia. going to bed again.
