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[vaa]

genuine joy is also needed, otherwise we all degenerate into porn watchers or sex addicts. like seeing a work of art when you've finished it, kissing your loved one, watching your children grow up, watching your business flourish. I am very cheerful, and if I made someone laugh in a day, that day is not lost. have reduced medicine now, and had 2 laughs yesterday. it was so long ago... the plutchik wheel says that calm, joy and ecstasy are the same basic feeling, and mostly I feel only calm, sometimes there are higher emotions. but mostly calm... the calm in the storm. and quitting tv, netflix, youtube, news papers, helps the most. I remember about a month ago I watched real TV for a few days, and I was completely paralyzed by the war in Ukraine. You couldn't do anything about it! and they reported on it all the time! indifference / lead is the worst, worse than fear. it eventually kills you. same with loneliness, and Sweden is a very lonely people. the "primitive" cultures are held together as a people, but a Swede does not even relate to another Swede. we are heading towards our doomsday... completely without agenda2025 happening. many Swedes take a lot of medicines, or combine them with alcohol and drugs as well. it flows freely... we're already pretty dead as a population. i would say alcohol and weed is what kills us. we become dead inside. at first you feel stronger, then you become completely brain dead in the end, barely able to communicate with another person. and what I require is intellectual stimulation! and there isn't much of that in social media. so if anything you should understand your feelings and then master them - without legal or illegal drugs! "do the pills make you feel what you saw on tv today?"

Comments

[deloric]

I read a graphic novel recently called Seek You and it was nonfiction about loneliness. I really thought it was a good book.

[vaa]

oh, i read some about it on goodreads <3 :) i cant ever remember feeling lonely when i read a book, even if it was in the middle of the night.

it was timely, your comment, though. ya see, you heard about the miami aliens? im gonna post soon about it. so i thought about aliens last night. and it was dripping from the showerhead. not all the time. just for like 15 mins. and i was... scared. it felt lonely at night :( i used to love the night =*( maybe i cant reduce neuroleptics further, because then the monsters would come out at night... i had that before. i was scared of the dark. was 1½ year ago? no, 2½ years ago. and i drank some beer. and that made it worse. like beings in the night. why most sleep then, i understand. its especially prevalent on miss poetry site. no one posts after midnight... a few do, but not many...

"rates of loneliness had already been increasing exponentially for decades"

well, except for those beers. i havent been much lonely. not during the day anyway... (but i self-medicated with chocolate...) now is a new day, full of discoveries :) lesse if i get my legs back. and if i have to live with night terrors :( oh my... i guess ill have to consult a healer. using burnt white salvia made the hauntings worse actually. maybe cuz miss mom did it. it wasnt haunted here at first. it came like 2 days ago, when i reduced neuroleptics. a challenge! ho hum...

but ive almost always been scared of the dark. but those 2½ years ago. was not fun. lots of light and darkness beings and stuff... if only i had bella by my side... oh, i contacted a (1 year) old friend, we chatted some :) shes the sweetest, and so strong, otherwise she couldnt handle me. and almost no one can handle me. ive added like 2000 people on facebook (its only 900 now though): and almost no one can handle me there...

[vaa]

hey sweetheart!!! i got your card :) miss mom had read it too. rainbow coloured snowflake, haha. youre ingenious <3