vaa | (no subject)

feel like shit
don't know exactly what I
must do to make it better
after a while no food works
no drugs
no women
you are just as lonely
and yet abandoned
as it was sung a
once upon a time
"sometimes i feel like
a motherless child"
yes
i feel homeless
rootless
just forget everything
make it stop
only
make it all stop
but it doesn't end so quickly
I have a very strong heart chakra
and root chakra and life chakra and…
I'm strong
but not anymore
have gone to the hairdresser 3 times
each time I heard that it does not
existed for some time
sometimes i give up easily
sometimes not
sometimes I can't stand anything
just lie in bed
and hope you don't have too many migraines
that you can still listen to music
and lay there
8 hours per day
as if time stood still
except pounders who
comes once an hour
and begging for lots of bullshit
I'm naive I know
I'm half blonde
although everyone believes
that I'm a redhead
my mother was rat gray actually
you know, mostly gray and little
highlights with blonde
and completely straightforward
later she got brown hair
just like that
it was when she
met my dad
they loved each other
in its own special way
missing dad now
it's almost gone
8 years since he died
happened in everything before
now I think more
perhaps
must get in me
enough
with protein
brb will cook
meat sauce from scratch
like a mafia family!
^_______^
take care <3