(no subject)

er. so. the psychiatric system doubled my neuroleptic injection dose. now i have too much despair to even listen to music. they did this because i didnt complain, i merely stated that i was healthy now. they dont want that. the greys dont want to be photod or sound recorded, why is that?

right. like a meme on facebook said, "aliens are demons". thats it. nothing more to it.

they are the illuminati. they thrive on bloodshed and falseness. ive only met 1 person ever who used the word" lie". the rest are liars. or alcoholics. same shit. or christians. same shit. everyone finds their faith through alcohol. but they are praying to a demonic spirit. thats what alcohols old name is. "spirit". as anti-kali is ruling earth its only logical.

people care more about sex and keeping up apperances than they do with caring about eachother and things that matter.

the world is coming to an end. theyre doing everything to ruin it. to ruin me.

"you were the wisest". yeah, then erika made me start smoking and all that. ive never met nor talked to bellas sister (aka daughter). its all a lie. i wont talk about her anyway, since i met someone else, who was worse, with the same name.

everythings a trap. a cage. a soul cage. tracey youll manage fine. since youre an incurable alcoholic freak. they like scorpios. since all they do is lie and lie with others and lie about lying with others and lie lie a lot and only think of sex or ways to punish people. libra are worse obviously. since they think everything they do is for the betterment of others. to "teach" them a lesson. so however fucked up they are they are obviously neutral/lawful/good. fuck off.

great. my body is shaking. baelie did this to me. she tried to log into mirage classic online to ruin my life even more. er. since i commented on her blogg ("g2g") which was bad, since she prefers being bitter over useless shit. thats how alcoholics work. since alcohol is bitter.

cigarillos are good for you but they arent. you dont smell like smokers 80 ingredient including rocketfuel cigareettes. so everyone is mean to me. meaner than when i didnt smoke. woah. weird.

anyway. its all shit and thats all there is to it.

agenda 2030 is now agenda2032. CBDC will come to sweden first. its in shanghai obviosuly since they wanted to vote against the dictator. and then china since italians like cheap useless plastic shit.

and soon sweden. awwwwwwww!

anyway i cant even go to the mall without getting despair.

they greys can give you despair with their mere precense. a single word or two can get you angry.

and anger, talking against someone, that is, not licking upwards and kicking downwards, isnt allowed.

la di da. could post this on mellan raderna but i get 0 likes 0 comments since i made that BIRA song, which made hte creater of the group add me as friendly friend friend.

i wont get plastic shoes since theyre removed everywhere.

this is my reality. made by sara(TM). that false little cunt.

anyway i talked shit about mr felipe. so he made me take cocaine. i get how it works. suck up, kick down. the only way to go. and take shitloads of cocaine. and all those drugs. then youre one of "them". otherwise youre a freak, a beast, a monster. and tracey doesnt give a shit about adding me, since im not as perverted as she wants me to be.

she obviously gets a red scare from 1 single swedish word. since communists are bad. and all commies are russians and russians are bad.

white privilege doesnt exist. they created "europe" by dropping off a bunch of albinos to see what would happen.

masons are merely survivors during the ice ages. they ate human flesh. quite simple. since food was scarce. everything was dead. in hiding. dangerous. so they ate humans. lots of parts to eat. nails. etc. i did a study on this before. whatever. go to svenskadikter.com/sofia and youll find it if you can bother.

so baes real last name is thompson. woah weird totally for real not a trap oh no.

i have the heater on, and the a/c. still even if i have my door shut for days it doesnt get warm. they only put heat on if its -20 and usually not even then. the world is fucked up and thats all there is to it.

i dont write poetry anymore. thats what smoking does to you. i used to tidy up my apartment but thats over and done with.

when they forced me to go to the greys place i felt the need for sugar again. its all in their plan. had some despair, got hungry for sugar. they can program you with neuroleptics. so getting the nanochip wasnt much different. miss mom has never complained about the psychiatric system. hmm. wonder why.

she said once so god (ie alcoholic antichrist demonspawn freaks) would forgive and understand her that "are you trying to make tomas kill himself again". awww how cute.

humans are alcoholics. thats all there is to it.

i take cigarillos now and eat healthy so i get punished with more neuroleptics. makes sense.

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i wouldnt have been able to write this if i wasnt at this psychiatric housing. id first get extreme paranoia which would quickly shift to despair for 8 hours or more and then soon enough the greys would pick me up to teach me things.

except since i took coke they are below my level.

theres nothing new to learn.

hey at least i dont get beaten to a pulp or raped all the time.

("there is time for that") a demon by my shoulder says.

awesome.

(no subject)

good morning miss dae! ^_____^ slept 95 mins. ok? had an awesome dream, listened to pj harvey - sweeter than anything. omg! awesomeness! i remember buying her new vinyl record some year ago, and it rawked! i dunno if shes punk, shes just herself......

woo! shaking from cold + fear = gr8 gr8 gr8. PARKINSON HOW YA LIKE ME NOW!!!!!

haaaaaiieejy the gamers are good to me. theyre crazy sometimes but how isnt. gamer 4 lyf <3

neil young - only love can break your heart fuck saint etienne

(no subject)

wow am so bored of facebook. it just means nothing to me. chatting as well. im in love with mirage <3 as mr admin says NO ONE LOVES YOU LIKE I DO. hes cool. whatever. awesomeness! ^_____^ poetry sucks btw! and photoshops. and i had so much despair i couldnt even listen to music last night. and its still fridge cold in my castle. omg! =( ^______^ X_X

(no subject)

why do you cut trees?

the timbre is so beautiful!

(no subject)

i am officially dead. i dont want to learn anything no more i hate everything (never heard that before) and everything annoys me i yell at people lots and insult them real nastily AND SOON THE WORLD ENDS and the more we fight the faster it ends

(no subject)

they greys have really done it this time. so i got a blue injection again. and wouldnt you know. just like ive known. no positive effects of neither dip or cigs just side effects. wow what an amazing life i live </3 im not sure what to do now. i guess i got punished for having a good dream. i mean how rude can you be to wake someone up from a good dream, from a good day, and just ruin them. awesome.

(no subject)

ok im gonna eat junkfood again. or well get an iceage in north europe. or all of europe. and i should smoke cigs. since this combo of cigarillos and eating healthy means everyone is a coldblooded psychopath towards me.

its ironic. i was pissed off at miss ninja, so i spat near her once. just once. then she spits whenever i think or say something "wrong". junkies are so weird. anyway. im gonna buy like 20 chocolate bars now. toodles!

(no subject)

i feel like the spirit of ixcacao got into me

because

uh

i bought 20 chocolate bars

2kg

ill puke when i wake up

but

worth waiting for ^______^

(no subject)

so. now i cant handle dip at all. i dont really know the specifics. and theres no point in smoking since it doesnt make me lucky anymore.

i dont miss bella. because im not like that. once i made homemade gin because the SHIT i bought was "natural aromas" and ECOLOGICAL ETHANOL so i just bumped some whatever the spicey nuts are called innit and waited some hours.

then, then i couldnt live without bella.

and just because youre a whore it doesnt mean you sleep with whoever. its not like that.

beggars cant be choosers? meow~

no idea what to do now. theres really nothing left of me. i wrote that lots when i was with bella. but now. theres just no hope. no one i talk to really wants to talk to me.

oh. fun. so i went to town in shirt and gimppants. i mean, if i use a dress no woman even looks my direction. and guys ignore me like they always do.

then some complete nutcases are like "can we send you back to prison"?????? WTF???????

they were at least the womansfolk strung out of her mind. just so weird. wtf.

so i dont use a jacket which doesnt heat me anyway.

so. getting attention isnt always good. chelsea mentioned that.

hey!

(no subject)

oh awesome so ive jammed in 300 grams chocolate in my mouth already which the divinity says is bad because _________ and now MY FACEBOOK REPLIES FUCKING DISAPPEAR!!!!!!!!! O_x

fuck this

(no subject)

the only thing i can really do now

is lie in bed all day all night all the time

theres really nothing left

i cant go to town

because i get so fucking dead inside around people

and it fucking reeks

i get tired so quickly

hey it was worse before

as they say

"i woke up

then that day

was ruined"

:(

hugs to tracey

cuz shes awesome

and stuff!

and she has a good looking muff!

moderata ungdomsförbundet

så att sÄga!! ^__^

i dont like this armchair

i want an oldskool leather sofa

thats the wyrRrD! ^___^

no wait sofia is for more than just me

only me here

miss neighbor visits me

i know she just plans to steal my cigs

shes braindead when she begs for them

jesus

things were alright for about 30 mins

while i was eating milk chocolate

then i put a dip in

and i dipped down

sigh..... =(

its motherfucking cold

but i got phenylethylamine

to keep me warm! ^______^

(no subject)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAtNtnNzqiM

dua lipa - the one - live rooftop russia

you know how much this rawks?

this rawks sawks lawtzzzzzzzzz.

you need to listen to this tracey.

commandment. lots!

(no subject)

er
its ok ^_______^
i had milkchocolate deficiency <3

(no subject)

so. i had extreme soft chocolate munchies. like. i was so miserable. thats why i dont get why scorpios whine so much and say that theyre weak. they have real good intuition right? well. i have as well. so i just bought some chocolate and eat some and it was alright again. pg18 warning! so i have a harder time getting it up. so i just lick my hand and its like a really sloppy lovehandle. lol. ok. weird! so i found another mmorpg. steinworld. its cute like secret of mana. i got anxiety directly when i got into the game. weird. its lorez so shouldnt use much resources. im tired of mirage now. sigh. oh well :( and i obviously got OCD from the chocolate. since ive taken so much for so long. havent written a poem. oh yesi have, in swedish, of em. lesse.... ^_____^

Just a nice poem as usual
Jump to navigation Jump to search
bella can breathe without oxygen

I know there are many

the biggest junkies

in the world survives

and get to live a life of luxury

I have both manager and

good man and they treat

me how they feel about it

but they disappear

after all, when we have CBDC

ultimately it is

the quantum computers that decide

about how much money we get

so be true to yourself

and care about other people

and your home and health





Bella you are the one I was looking for
Jump to navigation Jump to search

I don't agree with U2

I have found what I was looking for

her name is bella then i lost her

and I'm no longer looking, there's nothing to live for

but i know i love you bella

that's the only thing that counts

even if you

have fun with

someone else

i love you bella!

yours truly

art whore seasiepie

tokfiadottir erlingzone


Chocolate is love
Jump to navigation Jump to search
eat chocolate

it is love in its purest form

archease ixcacao

finest of all

i love you latin america

perhaps.....

you are troublesome sometimes

but so incredible

in so many ways

it is said that you are from saturn

the all seeing eye

illuminati

the unseen

or those who bring light

do eyes light up?

if you can hear and speak

so the aura can show!

a model said completely

suddenly that my va

WHITE ROSE PURPLE

thank you

my vväbbkah more

can photograph auras

I'm mostly blue blue blue blue blue

or red when I give the iron!

saw an Eritrean woman

she was completely green

from head to toe toe toe toe yes you are welcome

phenethylamine du e mine

I get a nice smile from you

grin grin grin YOUR!!!!!

(no subject)

oh its real salty tears because theyre burning my skin. omg! cool. not. too. ok. im not sofia anymore this sucks. but she faded some week ago. when i started to eat nutriciosuly. woah. complicated. oh well :( like in this vid i uploaded on bitchute i could hear a faint womans voice talking the same thing as me. but i didnt transcend further. i dont care. i am me. i am only one soul. ok. two. but theyre the same. meow! cats dont come out if you say meow only when you do cat emojis >>>>>>>>>> ^________^ need lots per day and it has to come from the heart and when i realized it the cats stopped coming only 3 times but hey. im grunting in thoughts writtten im my old someone self again suckage. i dont feel like visiting miss neighbor she only wants to steal all my cigs anyway. with chocolate i can make it on my own omg anxiety all the time gone! wootage! maybe..... i cant handle the fifth dimension anyway. anyway. i dunno. its cold dark lonely and mweee.. :(

its only 6 o clock people are bumping eachother and ive almost never done that so hey.

oh. now im miserable already. 30 mins of gaming did that to me. the despair i get whenever will be horrendous. oh well. i guess is should log out of all my music accounts.

i cant believe the greys do this to people. i was healed. i was healthy. and they drow me to the ground. i was eating healthy. i bought so much healthy food. but. nope.

now im bad mood again but not as bad or maybe worse i dunno. not hungry. i dont get hungry anymore maybe its all those animal proteins. ive already eaten 25 eggs and its only been 3 days. begeezus.

things suck. why cant someone come to hug me and say everythings alright and take care of me and ask nothing in - oh right thats what parents do.

welcome to realiti.

wow. i hate facebook. those fucking thumbs up. fucking hate em.

oh. got a real mean message. private message. she was the most boring person ever and i lashed out a lil too much. she said like god this god that. and then she dropped the bomb. she wants me to give her money for "her siblings for their meds and food". right. then i said wise things and she ends up calling me a demon and may god have mercy on my soul? well. you never know what people you meet.

i wasnt even being mean just wise. but nobody wants wisdom in this world. not in how i meet people. they want instant gratifiation. i realized that with some weirdo. lesse.....

dum
svag
elak
falsk
bitter
äcklig

thats about everyone ive ever met has been like that.

translation

stupid weak mean false bitter gross

really. everyones like that. they flirt fast then if you dont have sex with them whenever theyre in the mood theyll treat you badly forever more. my economy person is like that. angels are demons nothing else.

angels are only surface. theyre dead inside from metric tons of alcohol.

yep. miss economy wanted to sleep with me. i didnt say yes. then she just turned to a monster.

shes that again. so i asked if she could order 4 books. she acted like a complete retard.

and now 1 week later i get to know i have to order them myself.

i also got to know that ill never get money to buy things.

im only allowed to buy things for 1500kr but you never know if shes in the mood to give me any money back.

the vaccine is the mark of the beast. i happen to like tatus. i dont like smartphones theyre devil worship.

of course she nags that i should get a smartphone. so i "fit in" to her stereotype.

shes fucking disgusting. she looks like a freak too. shes drunk more the last 10-20 years so she has huge acne scars.

the world is fucked up and thats all there is to it.

i forgive easily.

no one else does.

with christians its 3 forgivenss.

but its really only 2.

they save up on bitterness.

then they just blam you.

anyway. its lonely. it didnt feel lonely without chocolate but it was just horrendous all the time the last few days.

i tried to eat healthy, and then miss economy punishes me and the greys too?

what the fuck is going on?!?!

but i made a poem about that. dunno what it was called.

its like.....

if you make mistakes, if you ruin the world, the gods and angels dont give a shit.

they cheer you along.

then when you turn into a better person.

when you try to change the world for the better.

everyone just slamdunks you everywhere.

im so fucking tired of this fake ass wellness "take a deep breath and think of here and now".

it just makes me want to vomit.

and all this "god this god that". god means guth, which is a noble man of good reputation.

JHVH isnt god, thats just jesus. psaul made him up. hes just a story.

its all a lie.

and who do i write for?

all the 4chan trolls?

well. i can write now.

it doesnt make me happy.

photoshopping does.

it makes me proud.

that ive created something beautiful.

but..... who will care afterwards?

a thumbs up on facebook? did they look more than 1/10th second at it?

all that work? 5 fucking hours so someone can just glance at it and so "ok cool NEXT".

bella turned mean quickly. she wanted me to make art 24/7.

actually when she just added me on facebook.

she was like "can we talk on the phone instead of you sleeping?"

wtf?

i guess im borderline now.

its just how it is.

dont be mean to people.

they will strike back.

especially if its a big artist.

they will butcher you.

9 messages on facebook.

it doesnt phase me anymore.

i got 6 likes on some poem.

didnt care.

its just 6 likes.

nothing phases me anymore.

bella left me. and she took my heart with her.

hey. not really a poem this.

im just dead on the inside.

ive been so

since my asshole neighbor said

"if you cry one more time you have to go home"

then i stopped crying. i stopped for like a decade.

then i tried crying once in my room.

my parents were at home. nobody came to my rescue.

no one.

its strange how much sister lived in the same household as me.

and i just never heard of never.

never saw her.

almost never.

so strange.

but her fate is something different than mine.

writing doesnt make me happy.

if theres some evil or kind stalker or reader.

who gets anything out of this.

ok. awesome. should i have posted it on livejournal instead?

since someone like bombs me now and then.

writing doesnt make me happy.

it never did.

im so dead inside now.

i have about 1½kg of chocolate.

im not as hungry anymore.

since i got them proteins.

so eating doesnt help.

it actually worsened it.

i get "delete" demons when i do have despair.

i ignore them. but its not fun.

like ive said.

everyone at this housing is an extreme junkie.

its just atrocious.

and the staff take the most drugs.

when they deal out the meds.

i dunno. they just seep of evil.

can give me despair in a second.

and the meds with them.

this is concious. this is intentional.

and its nothing but evil.

they do everything to make you angry.

like once i remember.

i hear

"you can choose"

she mentions one option

big smile

i say something else

2 other options.

it eventually came my way.

but why do you have to scream at people for them to listen?

se7en quote

"wanting people to listen

you cant just tap them on the shoulder anymore

you have to hit them with a sledgehammer

and then youll notice youve got their in strict attention"

so eating chocolate just made my misery in another way.

awesome.

the greys are inherently evil.

except ive fucked up. and they helped me then.

but its just so fucked up.

all of this.

and im debating dropping all people im talking to (2, two)

that have been in prison.

since within you without you.

then ill end up in prison.

it felt like that a few days ago.

both times mr dj took all my cds

and that latina at the second hand store

who i payed the cds for but she didnt give me them

this is so fucked up

this is reality

this is death

"i have seen the future, it is murder"

yay. i wrote a lot. awesome. who will care?

my hands are ice cold. ever since i started smoking.

its not fun. its other ailments in them.

it is said cold hands warm heart.

but its bullshit.

cold hands and youre a fucking junkie.

warm hands and you create gold with your hands.

whatever.

oh. gross warning. i started farting too.

i didnt do that before for so long.

this is so fucked up.

its cold as fuck in my room.

and mirage isnt fun.

the people accepted me before i got my neuroleptic injection.

then afterwards the chat just got quiet.

they got mean. ignored me. even if it was any chat at all.

its always like that. leonard cohen talked about that in an interview.

whatever you want is always just just just out of reach.

im tired of being an artist.

but we are getting cbdc soon. sweden first. wow. awesome.

it would be so much better to commit suicide. self-immolation.

it will just turn to complete shit.

so soon.

miss economy is a fucking prime evil.

i remember i asked her something.

i ask her about it 3 months later.

and she hadnt done shit.

she bought me some useless ikea garbage.

she pretends like i dont have 170 000 kronor in the bank.

because im lower class than her. i need to know it.

fucking trash whore.

yay. i wrote a lot.

by myself. this sucks even more.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb31ViArzIY

HEART CHAKRA HEALING Hang Drum Music || Attract Love & Balance Emotions

it was beautiful once or twice. but not much.

my new music is just algorithmic. i dont spend 3 months on an album.

i made 5 albums. happened to delete one. awesome.

no one cares. since if they cared about suicide.

theyd be afraid theyd be suicidal.

and no one cares about me.

no one would die for me.

just everyone i like disappears from my life.

or dies.

as if its my fault.

the reader. bernard schlink.

etc. who cares.

wow. this sucks donkey balls.

my vision is too strong.

the neuroelptics do that.

theyre both up and down drugs at the same time.

so if you dont take them you get up.

then down.

then its a fucking mess.

ok delete negative comments to tracey since demons tell me that.

awesome. wow. atrocious.

really nothing to do. its like 6 months ago.

just write and no return no giving back.

just horribleness.

and no one cares if youre down.

they just want to eat your energy when youre happy.

i try so hard at being nice to people

making them happy

showing their light

their beauty

and they just slap me in the face

if id get sick.

like. if i couldnt move.

the staff wouldnt visit me for months.

if you knock on their door.

they just dont open.

you need a special passphrase.

so if i ever get sick.

they wont care.

theyll be on a meeting for hours and hours.

then id check the next day if i can even get out of bed or crawl up from the floor or whatever.

oh great my face is heating up. demon skin.

this is all so fucked up.

there is no legacy.

there is no karma.

its just evil everywhere.

everyones just been so fucking disgusting to me. i tell from my world. it can be a few words. and they laugh disgustingly to me and shoo it off.

so fucked up.

its so cold

its so dark

its so lonely

its soooo fucked up

everything

right

now the neuroleptics

or the nanochip

made me hate the internet

wow

great

i love gaming but now i cant stand it?

ok.......

even weirder

i tried walking the 30 min walk

at like 3 in the morning

i..... didnt get any exercise from it

since i have drugs in my body

there are morph landscapes for everything

i need to rest again several times just stand still for a few secs

when going to the mall

the strange part is

on the 30 min trip i dont need to

but for 5 mins i need to?

wtf is going on?

what kinda world is this?

and me using tiger balm to heal my feet since i tried walking in those too small shoes my mom gave me that perverse freak

then the staff just turned evil towards me

hello? im healing myself? arent i allowed to do that?

the world is so fucked up

its just

god damn

i can see it all clearly

i was myself

no matter how battered i got from it

and then bella showed up

well

i summoned her

i wont be able to summon anyone again

and when i met bella

the greys chose to give me lower dose

i still got plenty anxiety even with just 1 milligram

i now have 300 milligrams per day + 200mg injection or whatever

its just so fucked up

well

dont treat people badly

and think you can get away with it

i tried this before

you stay quiet

to come up with lies to fit in your with lies

and its a feedback loop like that

so fucked up.

well. im happy for dreamwidth tracey <3

thanks for this site <3

youre lovely!

fuck

so tired of facebook

and even good wellness

it doesnt phase me

poetry

i get no emotions from it

i can talk a lot about it

did that on a facebook group to one persons poems

which the algorithm recommended to me

she just wanted her likes

she doesnt want words back

so fucked up

and whats with peoples body language?

what the fuck is going on?

can they ONLY do thumbs up and thats it?

thumbs up either means "fuck you up the ass/cunt"

or "youre an idiot and i fucking hate you"

what HAPPENED to body language?

not like there was any before facebook

but

god damn

this world is so fucked up

and its a prison planet

and anyone in the christian religion

either by birth or christening or the fucked up priests and nuns abusign you

or just the christian country

puts you in a soul cage

a soul trap

youll burn forever

except extreme junkies

who have had sex with satan

and killed god

so fucked up

ok new insight brb changing sitting position

masons are from the ice ages

yes they drink blood and eat human flesh

but there were people in europe

or all across the world

during the ice ages

there was almost no food at all

and if it got scarce

and you were the weakest link

well

they ate you alive

many african cultures do that

i know

ive met some

some said "i can throw you across the room if i want to"

and several have done weird voodoo shit on me

like that french guy who made me fall in love with france

well

fuck him

so im talking to a grey

and he goes over and hands in a bible?

like?

thats some great meaning in that right?

fuck it

like years ago

at the other housing

he just knocks on my door and hands me a deodorant

and laughs like a retarded junkie asshole

yeah you know how junkies smell

and hes a deviant

he loves eating shit

seems like everyone lieks eating theirs and other shit

literally

and I smell bad?

smokers ruin everything!

everything

well

better to write

dunno if i learned anything from writing this

i wont read it again

im just as empty as when i started writing it

but remember

dont treat anyone badly

online its so easy to stalk people

to talk shit about musicians or whoever

dont do it

it will come to bite you back one day

hey

not poetry

just

whatever

i couldnt handle me

only extreme alcoholics do

since theyre 100 dimensions

1000 thoughts per second

im mostly just 0 thoughts

when i draw its 1 line at a time

when i write its just a flow really

the problem with taking other drugs than chocolate

is that i need to take all of it at once

or i get no effect

and i only get an effect if i dont take em for awhile

and theyre much more addictive than chocolate

hey

this isnt poetry anymore

its not beautiful

sofia is dead

long die sofia

great

its not clever

i dunno what

just bitterness

now it just feels so empty in here

great

i have 1½ kg chocolate left

i dunno what to do

i cant fall asleep now

sometimes they come 30 mins early to punish me

but if i come 10 mins early they dont give it to me

it was like that the other day

fucking atrocious

if they come to the door you just accept the meds

not talk

since theyll force you into it then

and with their ÜBERevil whatever drug theyve taken

the sideeffects will just be so bad